Teaching is my second career. I didn't go to school to become a teacher and spent 4 years in the corporate world working with large accounts doing contract management and customer service. I also spent several years in high school waitressing. Those experiences helped me when I came to teaching. And subsequently, I have had very few bad interactions with parents or families of my students. Here are some tips that have helped me create meaningful partnerships with my students and their families.
I always try to have a conversation with the student, brainstorm some ideas of how I can support them going forward or strategies they can use in class to stay on task. I also let the student know that I'll be contacting home about what we discussed. This means that YOU (and the student) are taking steps to solve the problem. You are not blaming the parent or asking them to fix anything for you.
✅Do your research.
Read the contact log if there is one. Talk to their other teachers and see if they have talked to the parents. Sometimes colleagues will have a better idea of who to call to get results or if there are special circumstances you should know (ie. Dad is more responsive or they don't speak English so it's better to text rather than call.) And don't forget to update the log for your own contacts!
✅You are informing the parents of what's going on and asking for any suggestions they might have.
When the student and I have an idea of what we're going to do going forward, I communicate with the parent what our plan is. I ask if they have any other suggestions or ideas that have worked in the past. I treat them like the expert on their child that they are. In no way are you dictating how they should raise their child or that they are in the wrong. You are partners in helping their student be as successful as possible.
With this attitude of asking for their expertise, I almost always get responses like "I'm so sorry." "I will address this at home." "Thank you for letting me know. He/She knows better than that." Sometimes I learn things about the student that I didn't know before that help explain what's going on. Sometimes I learn that the parents are just as frustrated as I am with their kid's behavior. Either way, I communicate that I am on their kid's side and I want them to be successful in my class.
✅Include positives when possible.
If a student is doing well in one area then mention it. "He does so good during calendar time but then we seem to struggle when it's time to write." Or let them know if it's something new you're noticing. "I haven't had any issues in the past. She always does her work and is kind but I've noticed lately it's been hard for her to focus."
✅Call early - don't wait for it to become a bigger problem.
If I've had a complaint from parents it's that they want to know why are they just hearing about this, especially if I had to write a referral. I call early now and say something like "I just wanted to let you know before it becomes a bigger problem" or "It's been small things, nothing serious, but it's starting to become more regular and I want to address it before it starts impacting their grade."
Parents want their students to be safe. For certain behaviors let them know it's a safety issue. For middle school this comes up a lot. I let parents know that kids are horse playing/play fighting/running etc and nothing happened this time but I'm worried it could lead to someone getting hurt next time.
✅If you know you have high flyers when it comes to behavior try to reach out early and with positive news.
I had brothers a few years ago who were new to our school. Both started off doing great in class and I messaged mom and let her know I was so happy to have them at our school. Later on the younger brother started having issues in class but because mom already knew I liked her kid and wasn't just "picking on him" she was more receptive. Another teacher told me "good luck getting mom to respond," but for me it was never an issue because I had already reached out before things got dicey.
✅ Follow up with good news.
If a student has made improvements then let them know and then let their parents know. I try to follow up with parents with a text letting them know that their student has turned it around and I'm really proud of them. I almost always get a response back that they are grateful for keeping them updated and they are happy to hear their kid is being successful.
Even though I hate calling I try to do it because it's so much easier to convey tone with a voice call. If I can't reach a parent then I leave a voicemail and follow up with a text (Class Dojo when I was in elementary and Google Voice now that I'm in middle school.) Being able to text with parents has been really effective but I try to start with a phonecall.
✅Involve admin & support staff when needed.
Sometimes you can't do it alone. Not every interaction will be positive. I've had some students where the parents were getting calls all the time. In that case, I'm going to ask the counselor or admin that sees this student and knows the situation better than me to be the one to call home since they are the point person. That parent doesn't need to hear from 15 different people from the school.
Now this isn't to say that I've never had a negative interaction with parents (I did car line duty for a decade and some of those moms are still mad I told them to pull all the way up) but these tips have helped me build positive partnerships with parents. What are things that have helped you maintain good lines of communication with families? Share in the comments below!
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